


Second Only To You

by wayward_winter_soldier



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Ableism, Abusive Relationships, Autistic Cisco Ramon, Bisexual Cisco Ramon, Character Death, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Childhood, Cisco Ramon Needs A Hug, Cisco Ramon Whump, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Hurt Cisco Ramon, M/M, Minor Character Death, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Racism, Sexual Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, The Ramon's A+ Parenting, Verbal Abuse, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28616550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayward_winter_soldier/pseuds/wayward_winter_soldier
Summary: Cisco has come in second to Dante his whole life.
Relationships: Cisco Ramon/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	Second Only To You

**Author's Note:**

> There's no official birthdate for Cisco or Dante either from the Arrowverse or New 52, so I'm pulling a Sam and Dean and making them four years apart. It's subject to change in later fics I write, of course. Enjoy!

It started right at birth. First came Dante and then four years later came Cisco. The second child that actually wasn't really wanted all that much. One was enough for the Ramon family but they got two instead and they never ceased to voice their discontent for that. Though adoption was off the table. The neighbors would talk as well as Cousin Maria, the family gossip. No, Francisco Ramon was here to stay, whether anyone liked it or not.

And he was nothing like his older brother.

He didn't sit still for piano lessons and so the Ramons tried other instruments. They tried violin and flute and trumpet and cello but nothing worked. While Dante practiced scales and chords, Cisco built LEGO spaceships and studied the names of all the constellations in the night sky. They didn't understand. Mrs. Ramon had played flute and Mr. Ramon was a trombone player. They had met at their concert band rehearsal. Music was in his blood! Why couldn't he see that?

Once he turned eight they gave up. There was no point in wasting any more time or money when they could use that to further Dante's pianist career. At least he appreciated music like his parents. Eight was really the best age to stop anyway because Cisco had a third-grade teacher who thought he was very bright and continuously encouraged him to study the things he liked. She had made a deal with the elementary school librarian to let him check out as many books at a time he wanted and he devoured them as quickly as possible. He read about everything. He would go through weekly phases of being obsessed with a certain topic and Miss Jacobs had indulged in all of them by recommending certain books on the topics. This week was the Titanic, the next was global warming, and the next was space travel. 

The Ramons never noticed any of these phases in action. Cisco had learned around the same time that no one in his family wanted to hear how cold the water was when the Titanic sank or the scientific accuracies in Star Trek. They didn't want to hear how he could recite all the elements on the Periodic Table or why the sky was blue. So he sat in his room in the corner with the good lighting and the bean bag and he read his books to the sound of Dante practicing piano and his parents encouraging him along the way.

* * *

Cisco won his first science fair at age ten. He was the youngest to do so and it made the papers. The photographer asked him if he wanted the photo to be with his family. He informed him that his family wasn't there. His older brother had a recital that day.

The photographer frowned but took the picture of Cisco with his first-place trophy in front of his project anyway and told him he would send him a copy of the photo in the mail once it was developed so his parents could see it.

When the picture came in the mail, Cisco used one of the empty frames his mother kept in her hut for pictures from Dante's concerts and he put his science fair picture in it. He placed it on his bookshelf and never showed it to his parents.

* * *

When Cisco was twelve he fell out of the tree he was climbing and broke his arm. His parents took him to the emergency room but left after about an hour because Dante needed a ride to piano practice. The doctor asked where Cisco's parents had gone and he had lied and said a family emergency had come up that they had to take care of and he had told them he didn't mind that they had left. In all reality, Cisco was terrified of being alone in the hospital room with the patient next door moaning in pain and the strong smell of disinfectant in the air that hurt his nose.

After getting a cast on his arm he waited another hour and his parents picked him up and took him to the store so he could pick out a LEGO set.

Because buying him things was how they said sorry. Or, at least, that's what Cisco assumed they were saying. Perhaps it was a way to keep him distracted in his room for long periods of time.

Cisco liked his new LEGO X-Wing just fine. He just wished his mother had been there to hug him when he cried alone in the hospital and that his father had been there to tell him he was very brave when they poked him with the needles.

He had asked Dante if he wanted to sign his cast and he had called him a loser and said to leave him alone so he could practice his new piece.

* * *

At age thirteen Cisco came home with a black eye and a note from the principal. He was grounded for two weeks for starting a fight at school.

In all reality, Alex Cooper had called him a spic and had told him to go back to Mexico. Cisco, while sorting his Pokemon cards at the lunch table he always sat alone at, had calmly told him he was born in America and his family was actually from Puerto Rico and Alex had called him a smartass and punched him. The Coopers were a very well-known family so the principal had taken Alex's side.

This hadn't been the first instance of Alex bullying Cisco, but the first physical one. Alex had been calling him names ever since Cisco had had a panic attack in class when asked to read out loud. It wasn't Cisco's fault he got nervous when put on the spot or that he couldn't stop his foot from tap-tap-tapping against the linoleum classroom floor. It wasn't his fault he couldn't help but talk to anyone and everyone about computers and LEGOs and all the science fiction shows he watched. It wasn't his fault he couldn't have his food touching one another or that every Friday he had to wear his Spider-Man shirt or something terrible may happen.

It just wasn't his fault. And Alex Cooper calling him freak and wetback and all other racist and ableist words did not make his autism any better.

He could tell his parents until his voice became hoarse that he was having problems but the fact of the matter was that they never listened.

So that night Cisco sat in his room with a bag of peas he had swiped from the freezer on his eye and he sobbed himself to sleep.

* * *

When Cisco ended his final year of middle school the Ramons received a letter in the mail saying Cisco had such good grades that he should take AP classes in high school. The school would even pay for them! After hearing it would cost no money the Ramons shrugged and told him to do it if he wanted.

He was the only freshman in AP Calculus. Dante was still struggling through Algebra II and Cisco was forced to tutor his brother twice a week for an hour so his grades didn't slip too much because if they did he wouldn't be able to participate in concert band. 

Well, they called it tutoring. Dante just made Cisco do all his homework for him.

He never really minded that much.

* * *

When Cisco was fourteen he was invited by his AP Calculus teacher to join the Mathletes. His AP Physics teacher had also invited him to join the Robotics team. He had been overwhelmed by choosing between the two until he was informed that both met at different times and had co-existing dates for meets.

Anything to not hear Dante and his stupid piano pieces, Cisco had thought as he agreed to both offers.

By the next season, he was team captain for both and had their teams winning more than they had ever. The principal actually noticed how well the teams were doing and had an assembly for them to congratulate them on their success. He threw a dinner for the teammates and their families at a nice restaurant.

Cisco's family was the only ones not to come.

Dante was playing at a scholarship event that night.

* * *

Cisco was fifteen when his father first hit him.

He was supposed to meet his parents at Dante's recital. It was apparently a very important one. There would be colleges there and the Ramons wanted to show to the judges and admissions people just how great and supportive Dante's family was. How proud they were of their oldest son.

However, Cisco had found himself talking to an admissions person of his own at his Robotics meet. The guy was from MIT and had said he had been very impressed with Cisco's leadership abilities and that they looked for students like Cisco. He had been given a business card and everything! 

But that had made Cisco late for Dante's recital and it had already ended when he burst through the concert hall doors. He had approached his family in the lobby as they talked to some old guy who smelled like mothballs.

"Francisco, where were you? You missed Dante's performance! You know how important it was to him!" his mother had scolded.

Cisco had blushed a deep red at being put on the spot. "I'm sorry, Mama, I was talking to an admissions person from MIT at my Robotics meet and-"

"We don't want your excuses, Francisco," his father had said, cutting him off.

"MIT. That is a very good school, indeed," the old man had said, smiling at Cisco. "You must be very smart!"

Before Cisco could respond, his father had rolled his eyes and told the admissions man that all Cisco did was build silly little robots and that was no career. He changed the subject to Dante and Cisco stood by his mother awkwardly for the rest of the time they were there.

When they had gotten home, Cisco had been dragged up to his room by his father, who had slammed the door behind them, making Cisco jump.

"You embarrassed us tonight, Francisco! You may have costed your brother admissions to that music school!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be late-"

Mr. Ramon held his hand up to stop Cisco's apology. "You knew how important this night was for Dante. We told you to skip your dumb robot thing!"

"Papa, I couldn't! I'm team captain and head engineer! They needed me-"

Cisco's explanation was cup off once again, this time by a harsh slap to the face from his father.

"You're grounded for a month. You will apologize to your brother and you will be at every recital, no excuses. Is that clear, Francisco?"

Cisco nodded, tears falling down his face as he rubbed his cheek. He didn't even notice when his father left. All he could think about was the first place Robotics trophy that sat abandoned in his backpack, along with the MIT guy's business card.

* * *

The Ramons forgot Cisco's sixteenth birthday and he didn't bother reminding them.

* * *

Cisco received an admissions packet from MIT from his school counselor when he was seventeen. She had told him he had extraordinary grades and had a very good chance of getting in. She could even get him a fee waiver.

So Cisco applied.

On his walk home from school that day Brad Rogers tripped him and he skinned his knee on the pavement, ripping his jeans. When he arrived home with a bloody knee and ruined pants Mrs. Ramon had given a deep sigh and told him to change so she could sew up the hole as she had for all the other rips that had occurred in the same pair of jeans.

Cisco looked forward to the day he hit a growth spurt and no longer had to wear Dante's old clothes.

* * *

A large envelope addressed to a Mr. Francisco Ramon came one day and Cisco had opened it excitedly.

_Dear Mr. Francisco Ramon,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have received admission to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology's undergraduate program. Enclosed is your scholarship information as well as-_

Cisco had stopped reading at that point, too excited to continue. He flipped a page over and saw the scholarship letter that informed him of his full ride.

He would have told his parents but they were crying over the fact that Dante had gotten kicked out of his pretentious music school for too low of a GPA.

So Cisco went to his room and hung up the MIT pendent they had sent him above his bed and he looked at it proudly for a good five minutes because he knew no one else would.

* * *

Cisco graduated valedictorian of his class when he was eighteen.

His family didn't show up for the ceremony.

Dante had a piano gig at a school musical.

* * *

When summer came to an end Cisco packed his belongings into the back of the car he had bought with the money he earned from his part-time job at Best Buy. He would be driving to Massauttests alone.

As he shoved the last box of LEGO figures into his trunk, Dante emerged from the house, his arms crossed over his chest. Cisco closed the trunk and turned, surprised to see his brother.

Suddenly, he was pulled into a hug.

"Good luck, _hermano_ ," Dante said softly as he broke up the hug just as quickly as it had begun. He gave his little brother one last hair ruffle and smiled, leaving Cisco alone in the driveway.

The Ramons watched their youngest son leave through the window and almost felt guilty.

Almost.

* * *

Cisco made the Dean's list the first semester of his freshman year. 

He didn't tell his parents.

* * *

When the first year of college ended Cisco signed up for Summer classes so he could keep living in the dorms.

He hadn't gone home for Christmas. When his mother called to ask if he would be at Dante's birthday party he had said no.

She had hung up with a huff of disappointment and annoyance.

Cisco didn't really give a damn and went back to his LEGO fighter plane.

* * *

Cisco got his first boyfriend at age nineteen, five years after Dante had been in his first relationship.

His name was Matt and he was a chemistry major. They had the same chem lab and were assigned as lab partners. That's how they met. Their sophomore year they had rented an on-campus apartment together. They were planning on getting a goldfish and naming it Kirk.

Matt was amazing and funny and sweet and kind until he wasn't.

It started with little things. That's how things like this always started, wasn't it?

Matt didn't like a shirt Cisco was wearing that day, said it made him look fat. So he changed. Matt didn't like that he kept texting his study mate from his programming class. So Cisco broke up the study group. Matt didn't like that Cisco went out without telling him. So Cisco started to ask for permission to go out. Matt usually said no so Cisco stopped asking and just never went out unless Matt invited him.

There was a part of Cisco that knew this wasn't right but there was an even bigger part that told him that Matt was just doing these things because he loved him. Matt just wanted him to be better, that was it. 

One night Cisco had come home from his job at the library late and he had not texted Matt about the delay. Matt had yelled at him about how he didn't know if Cisco was dead in a ditch and how he had to let him know when things like this happened. Cisco cried and apologized.

Matt said if Cisco was really sorry he would have sex with him to make up for it.

Cisco didn't want to do that but he nodded anyway because that would make Matt happy and when Matt was happy he didn't yell and scream at Cisco like his parents used to do.

* * *

Cisco was twenty when his boyfriend first hit him.

He hadn't had dinner ready when Matt came back from his late class and he had been so angry he had hit Cisco so hard the shorter man fell to the floor.

Matt had apologized and Cisco had forgiven him.

He continued to hit him after that day and he eventually stopped apologizing.

* * *

When Cisco was twenty-one he landed in the emergency room with a broken arm that he did not receive while climbing a tree.

The broken arm was accompanied by a concussion, two cracked ribs, multiple bruises, and tears in the anal region. If the neighbors had not called the police Cisco would have most likely died.

As he laid in the hospital bed he thought that maybe it would have better if he had died.

It would have been the first thing Cisco beat Dante at.

* * *

A restraining order was filed shortly after Cisco was released from the hospital. A nice police officer had asked him if he wanted to take the case to court.

Cisco had replied, "They won't believe me anyway."

The police officer frowned because he knew that to be true and wrote his number down on a card for Cisco, telling him to call if he ever needed anything.

Cisco slipped it in his pocket and forgot about it in the wash, so all the ink ran and it was impossible to read the numbers. He didn't think he would have called the police officer anyway.

* * *

Cisco graduated with his Bachelor's in Mechanical Engineering a few months later and moved back to Central City. He had wanted to take the job at a lab in Boston, but they had also hired Matt. His career had not been ruined and that made Cisco furious. Too furious to even stay in the state let alone the city.

So Cisco accepted the position at S.T.A.R. Labs from Dr. Harrison Wells.

Cisco loved everything about S.T.A.R. Labs except Hartley Rathaway, who reminded him too much of Matt to ever make him comfortable.

Once he had thrown his hand up too close to Cisco's face and he had freaked out and started apologizing.

Hartley was a little nicer after that.

* * *

When the particle accelerator went off Cisco was in the hospital again for another few days due to a broken leg that had been caught under a piece of falling metal.

He knew his family knew he worked at S.T.A.R. Labs because he had told them about it at Dante's last birthday party. They had even asked, which was new.

He received no texts, calls, or visits from them.

He did, however, receive visits from Dr. Wells, Caitlin, and Hartley. Hartley had only come once to drop off a LEGO Star Wars set that Cisco recognized as the one he had been talking about buying a few weeks ago. Cisco didn't think Hartley had been listening to his ramblings but evidently, he was wrong. Hartley assumed Cisco was sleeping when he told him to get better soon, asshole. Then he left and Cisco smiled at the sentiment.

* * *

When Cisco got out of the hospital and went back to S.T.A.R. Labs there was some dude in a coma there.

According to Caitlin, his name was Barry Allen and he would wake up any day now.

He woke up nine months later to the sound of Lady Gaga coming from Cisco's computer.

* * *

When Cisco was twenty-four he decided to attend the Ramon Family Christmas. When he knocked on the door his mother answered and asked him what he was doing there.

"It's Christmas," Cisco had said simply.

"Yes, but you never come for Christmas."

"Well, I'm here now."

She grunted and opened the door wider to let him in. He shuffled in awkwardly and took his shoes off, looking up to see his brother and father in the living room watching _It's a Wonderful Life._

"Well, well, well, it's a Christmas miracle," Dante joked, standing to meet his brother at the door. "What's up, _mija?"_

Cisco rolled his eyes at the childish nickname. "Not much? You?"

Dante shrugged.

"He's a manager at his company," their father said proudly.

"Manager, huh?" Cisco asked.

Dante chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Yeah. They all think it's so cool. It's a fucking department store, am I right?"

Cisco nodded as if he understood but he really didn't.

"You still working at that lab?" Mr. Ramon asked, all proudness disappearing from his tone.

"Yeah. I'm actually head engineer," Cisco said, placing the gifts he had brought on the coffee table so he could take his coat off. Technically he was the _only_ engineer, but that did make him head, right?

"Hey, that's cool," Dante said, a smile still on his face. "What you make?"

"This and that."

"Like, is it top-secret stuff for the government?" Dante said, his voice lowering as if someone would hear their conversation and report them or something.

"Yeah, kinda."

"Dinner," Mrs. Ramon interrupted, placing a baked ham on the dining room table a little louder than she needed to. Her eyes landed on the small stack of presents Cisco had brought.

"We didn't know you were coming. We didn't get you anything."

"That's okay," Cisco said softly.

"No, I got you something!" Dante declared. "It's under the tree! You're gonna love it, _hermano!"_

When Cisco unwrapped Dante's gift after dinner it was a LEGO space shuttle. 

Cisco did love it.

* * *

When Cisco was twenty-six he went to Dante's thirtieth birthday party with Caitlin. 

Dante had acted like an insufferable jerk and Cisco had thought about the Christmas a few years ago and assumed his brother had had a brain-eating parasite at the time. That's the only reason he would be so nice.

Later that night a pretty girl flirted with him in a bar and he finally thought things were turning around.

Then he was kidnapped by Leonard Snart to make their weapons. And Dante was there as leverage.

Cisco told them the identity of the Flash because if he didn't Dante would lose his hands. Dante may have been a dick but that didn't mean he should never play the piano again. Because Cisco knew his family would never forgive him for that. 

He just hoped Barry would forgive him for this.

* * *

The last time Cisco hugged his brother had been when he was twenty-seven.

It was in Cisco's workshop after a very long night of running from doppelgangers.

Dante hadn't been expecting the hug but he didn't let go.

Cisco tried not to cry.

* * *

It was when Cisco was twenty-eight and in a support group for those who had lost loved ones that he realized Dante had beat him for the last time.

He had died before.

After all these years Cisco was still coming in second.


End file.
